The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize