this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
