it hurts more in the daytime
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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