Say something about gay babies.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
