i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
