it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Randomize
