Pants 0. Shit 1.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
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