never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
