theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
