she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
