So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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