I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Randomize
