it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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