it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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