I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
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