I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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