so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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