i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
