Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
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