she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
