This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
