She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
How external is "for external use only"?
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
