..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
