we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
3 2 1 whiskey
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize