paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
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