I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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