My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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