whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
