He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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