Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
