I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Randomize
