I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Randomize
