Who wears a wallet chain?!
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Randomize
