the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Randomize
