my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
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