Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
