There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
