I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Randomize