I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Boobs speak an international language.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
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