After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Randomize
