its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
i am craving dick and cupcakes
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