Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Can't talk, ducks in the car
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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