so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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