I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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