Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
apparently the secret to your success is patron
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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