they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
