i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Randomize
