I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Randomize
