She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
My Higher Power is John Stamos
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
