would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
