Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
