i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
