? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
