I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
