YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Randomize
