I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
