He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Randomize
