Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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