this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
