on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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