Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
