I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Randomize