chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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