my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
My breath smells like gin and sadness
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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