He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
